Blameless Faith

There was in the days of Herod, the king of Judea, a certain priest named Zacharias, of the division of Abijah. His wife was of the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth. And they were both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless. 
-Luke 1:5-6 NKJV

I've been doing this Bible study on struggling with infertility. I've read some encouraging messages that brought hope to a hopeless place. Infertility is a dark spot. Unless you've struggled with it personally, I don't think you can understand the burden it weighs on your soul. Some days it's a black hole, sucking the light from every corner of your universe. Some days are better than others. Every day there is a nagging voice whispering all the reasons you're unworthy to have a child.  This is the part of infertility I have struggled with the most. I believe in formulas. I believe that "X plus y" equals "z". I thought if I did all the right things, prayed all the right prayers, believed all the right scriptures,  my plan was God's plan.

Maybe Elizabeth did too. She and Zacharias walked blamelessly, and they were still childless. I wonder how many prayers she prayed for a child. I wonder how many nights she cried herself to sleep because her neighbor was having her 7th child. Maybe she had more faith than me and never struggled, always trusting the Lord. I doubt it. 

Being barren in those days was almost ostracizing. Being barren was a curse; what sin must you have committed to cause the Lord to reject you in such a terrible way? BUT THEY WERE BLAMELESS! Lord, why would you do this to someone who served You blamelessly? 

It doesn't end there though. This Godly couple did conceive a child. His name was John. He was the predecessor to our Savior. God used John to make way for the coming of the Lord. So what did Elizabeth and Zacharias do to finally deserve a child? They waited.  They prayed. They remained faithful and blameless.  They didn't follow a new set of rules, a specific set of guidelines, carefully considering and counting each step. There is no such set of rules. God's ways are not "one size fits all". The road He paved for me is not the same He paved for my best friend or my sister.  My journey is unique and challenging and meant to draw me closer to Him. 

He knows exactly what I need to go through to cause me to break my own desires and depend solely on the One who can heal my hurt and scars. Being blameless will not guarentee a child. God is not a "one size fits all" god. But trusting Him no matter the situation will guarantee spiritual maturity, a process that only increases our faith. He is the Creator of the universe and He loves me where I am, in those areas where I'm blameless, and has grace for those areas I'm still trusting to overcome.